"Loneliness is the poverty of self, solitude is the richness of self" ~May Sarton

For the last month, I have been living without a phone, and I am here to tell you that I am alive and well.

I am a survivor.

Long story short, on THON weekend, I dropped my phone in the toilet and due to panicking and slight sleep-deprivation, I turned on the phone right away which fried its insides and shut it down for good.  I finally received a working phone in the mail this week, marking nearly a full month living in the "Stone Ages" (as some of my friends have so kindly told me).  

Photo Courtesy of magicatwork

While I felt extremely disconnected from the world during this month, I cannot say that I minded.  I realized that I don't need to check Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat every other hour.  I realized that I did not miss out on anything that my friends were up to, just because I couldn't text them.  I realized that having my phone only distracts me while studying, and that I was so much more productive without it.

Society fools us into thinking that to be "connected," we need to be constantly checking social media, and that using technology is the only way to communicate.  Sure, it is fast, but much more quality conversations are always had face-to-face.  

And, while I walked to class without my phone, I made eye contact and smiled at strangers walking by without a second thought, which brightened my day.  While waiting outside of classrooms or offices for meetings, I could no longer rely on my phone as a clutch to keep me occupied.  Instead, I was much more observant of the people around me and had time to think about my day and do some self-reflection.

Photo Courtesy of Patrick Marioné

I will admit that the first few days, I felt oddly lonely.  Without my phone, I had extreme fear-of-missing-out, and felt odd not communicating with people 24/7.  However, after a while, I embraced the idea of solitude.  

"Solitude," the state of being alone, is completely different from "loneliness."  "Solitude" is often associated with peacefulness, and tranquility--being alone because you want to.   Merriam-Webster defines "loneliness" as "being without company, sad from being alone, and producing a feeling of bleakness or desolation."

So, when I went to study in the stacks without my phone, I was in complete solitude.  I accepted the fact that I had no way of reaching anyone, and no one could reach me.  I was there for one reason, to do work for a few hours and see how much I could accomplish.  That idea brought me a feeling of contentedness, and allowed me to do my best work efficiently.  I was alone because I wanted to be, and I was happy to be there.  

Solitude is really nice, and I would have never discovered this if I hadn't broken my phone.   So, the next time that something inconvenient happens to you, embrace it.  Be open to the possibility that, by adjusting to the situation at hand, you may just find a new perspective that breathes fresh air into your life.

"I don't believe in guilty pleasures. If you enjoy something, you just enjoy it. No sense feeling guilty about it." ~Cristina Moracho

What is your guilty pleasure?  Is it ice cream?  Netflix?  Shopping sprees?

Mine is The Bachelor.

Photo Courtesy of Tamara Korovina

If, by any chance, you are not familiar with the show, twenty-eight women compete for one man and the chance to become his future wife.  The show is set up so that the man, "the bachelor," goes on a group date and several one-on-one dates each episode.  He eliminates a few girls at the end of each week, until he is left with one--his fiancée.  When there are three or four women left, the bachelor meets with each of the girls' families, and in the season finale, the remaining contestants meet the bachelor's family. 

Just allow me to say--the show is absolutely insane and wrong on so many levels, and yet, I love it.

Is it right for a man to date twenty-eight women at once?  Not at all.  Is it entertaining?  Without a doubt.

Photo Courtesy of Ryan Fung

The Bachelor is undeniably my guilty pleasure because it is dramatic and shocking every week without fail.  The dates are fantastical, lavish, and completely swoon-worthy.  The mansion is beautiful and the gowns are spectacular.  In the end, the engagement ring is huge and the proposal is romantic.  Of course, all of this is artificial, but it satisfies my sweet tooth for romance, drama, and reality TV.

I am completely aware that there are much more wholesome and enriching things I could be doing with my life for two hours every Monday, but I wouldn't want to be doing anything differently.

Why should anyone have to defend their guilty pleasure?  Unless the thing you enjoy the most is destructive emotionally, or harmful to your physical well-being, just enjoy it!  My guilty pleasure allows me to stop thinking, worrying, and stressing for a few lovely hours, and I honestly look forward to Monday nights because I can't wait to relax for a change.  

Author Cristina Moracho said, "I don't believe in guilty pleasures.  If you enjoy something, you just enjoy it.  No sense feeling guilty about it."  I could not agree more.  

I think that all of us should have one guilty pleasure--something that helps us get through a tough week or allows us to let go of stress.  Indulging in a guilty pleasure is healthy in moderation, and this indulgence has the power to give us a kind of emotional and mental therapy that we all need every once in a while.

So, the next time you are sitting down to watch Extreme Couponing, Finding Bigfoot, or whatever reality TV you are most embarrassed to love, don't give it a second thought.  You are worth it.  Just concentrate on enjoying life and all that it has to offer, including television, ice cream, and shopping malls.

“Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others.” ~Robert Louis Stevenson

Blast off, BJC!  Can you feel the energy?

A few short weeks ago, many of us experienced our first THON.  And if our experiences were at all similar, THON may be the most emotional, awe-inspiring event you in which you have ever participated.

From the second the doors opened to the final few minutes, the Bryce Jordan Center was full of energy, optimism, and hope.  It was incredibly moving to see so many people standing and dancing together in support of the same wonderful cause.  Confession: I teared up a little during every single line dance.

I have followed THON for the past couple years, just watching the last few minutes on the Livestream to see the total, and my high school had its first-ever Mini-THON my senior year.  As soon as I chose Penn State, I knew that I had to get involved, but I had no idea how incredible it would be to actually experience the weekend.  The countless hours that go into fundraising, preparing, and interacting with the families before the event are certainly powerful to witness, but the feeling in the Bryce Jordan Center on THON weekend as a culmination of everyone's hard work, is impossible to describe.

The Four Diamonds--Courage, Wisdom, Honesty, and Strength embody all that THON stands for, and all the qualities that can overcome the terrible disease that cancer is.  In interacting with some of the THON kids, it struck me how much more courage, wisdom, honesty, and strength they had than people three times their age.  Despite the stress and awful circumstances that they must be enduring in their fight against cancer, they are the strongest little warriors I have ever seen.

Robert Louis Stevenson said, "Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others."  In hearing the families speak, none of them ever got caught up on fear, but conveyed messages of hope, recovery, and positivity.  This quote is a perfect representation of why THON, the largest student-run philanthropy, is so successful and strong.  There are so many reasons for these families to be fearful, but their optimism makes us admire their strength, which drives us to take action, which helps families feel more secure, which gives the families hope, which gives the kids courage.  When the kids and families share their courage, there are no boundaries.

This year, THON raised $9,770,332.32 For the Kids.  According to the official THON website, more than $127 million dollars have been raised since pairing with the Four Diamonds.  With over 15,000 student volunteers and more than 400 student organizations who actively fundraise for THON, more than 3,300 families are able to be assisted directly by the Four Diamonds.  Many families never have to see a single bill.

THON weekend made me so proud to be a Penn-Stater.  The sense of community and determination here is unparalleled.  Hopefully, all our efforts this year will have a major impact in helping all the families and the kids to keep fighting so that in the future, we can dance in celebration of a cure.

(One mission, show your diamonds//Every cub a Nittany Lion)

Dwight Schrute's Perfect Valentine's Day

February 14th...the day when we are all inundated with pink hearts, sappy Instagram posts, and endless chocolate.  For many people, it can be an exhausting, annoying, disappointing holiday (the chocolate's not bad, though).

Photo Courtesy of Brent Moore

I miss the elementary school days when Valentine's Day simply meant classroom parties, candy, and collecting Nemo, sports, and dinosaur-themed Valentines from the entire class.

 'Timmy gave me the brontosaurus card, do you think he likes me?!' or 'Ew, Steve's cards all have hearts on them, he's got cooties!!' were common threads of conversation throughout my second grade class--threads that I would love to have back.  These conversations all show the bliss and excitement of childhood that comes with any holiday (especially a holiday that lets kids miss a day of class).

But, as time goes on, something changes.  As we age, we tend to react in one of three distinct ways to Valentine's Day:

1. We await the day with great anticipation and enthusiasm.
2. We feel lonely.
3. We are completely indifferent.

Dwight Schrute, of "The Office" (my all-time favorite TV show), has his own way of coping with Valentine's Day: "My perfect Valentine's Day?  I'm at home, three cell phones in front of me, fielding desperate calls from people who want one of the fifty restaurant reservations I made over 6 months ago."  I suppose Dwight's reaction would fall under the "indifferent category" (cold indifference, yes, but indifference all the same).



The point is, Valentine's Day in this day and age is very flashy and heavily commercialized.  It seems as though this day is more about eating at the fanciest restaurants and buying the most expensive bouquet than actually showing the people closest to you how much you love them.  A friend told me, "Valentine's Day was created by Hallmark to make a killing off of cards and chocolate."  While this is completely untrue (February 14th is the feast day of St. Valentine), it is quite easy to see the logic behind their viewpoint.

Back in elementary school, I would always save my favorite Valentines for my best friends and make sure that they got the best color of Fun Dip attached (probably the most touching gesture that anyone can make).  In these very small, trivial ways, I could communicate to my friends how much I cared for them.

Photo Courtesy of Han N

Can't we translate some of this mindset to our own lives?  It is certainly important to express how much you care for your loved ones every day of the year, but on Valentine's Day, try to do something little that lets them know that they are extra special.  Whether that means remembering to send your Mom a card, or taking your best friend out to breakfast, any small gesture counts.

So, if your Valentine's Day fell short this year, try to make the most of next Valentine's Day; and even if you don't have a "Valentine," remember to be grateful for the people who love and care for you unconditionally every single day of the year.

“Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” ~Ferris Bueller

Many people take life for granted.

So often, we wake up feeling drowsy and think, "I don't want to get out of bed, today is going to be rough."  And, as we're going about our day, we complain, "Today is the worst day, everything that could go wrong is going wrong."  When we come home, we say, "Thank goodness that's over."

I caught myself in this kind of mood today.  Sometimes, we may act and think negatively and not even notice it.  And I know that, whenever I am in a bad mood, I often just want to feel sorry for myself and mope because it is easy (and occasionally oddly satisfying).

However, I think that bad moods, negativity, and moping do not solve anything, and they certainly do not allow us to live our lives to the fullest.

Iconic movie character Ferris Bueller says it best: "Life moves pretty fast.  You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."



There are so many things that we miss when we're set on brooding.  Lousy moods bring our eyes down and hunch our shoulders.  For instance, today was a beautiful day on campus with lightly falling snow gently coating the trees and sidewalks, but I didn't even notice until I snapped out of my sulking.

Photo Courtesy of Penn State

Life does move fast, and many times, we just want it to move faster.  Whether we just want this week to be over so we can be done with our exams, or if we can't wait for spring so that the days are lighter and longer, or even if we are wishing for the whole semester to be over because we are stressed, we should try as best as we can to live in the moment and appreciate life for what it is right now.

Of course we are stressed, tired, and occasionally unmotivated--that is just the nature of being a college student.  It is our choice, though, whether or not we want to act stressed, tired and unmotivated, or if we want to live more positively and always look for the good things in our worst days.

When you have an exam, sit in the coziest lounge with your favorite hot beverage and enjoy being comfortable and at ease.  When you need to write a paper, take five minutes to call a friend you haven't spoken to in a while just to catch up.  When you're late for class, make sure to keep your head up so you can still take in the beautiful scenery as you rush down the sidewalk.

Don't be so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you don't stop to see what's going on every now and again.  The truth is, we don't know how much time we have left on this planet.  It could be a day, or it could be a million, but the only thing that's certain is the present, so make sure to live in it.

“Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.” ~Vernon Sanders Law

Think about the hardest test you ever took--the test with the most red slashes, dashes, and corrections; the test that gave you an awful, sinking feeling in your stomach; the test that made you feel like you might need to drop out or at least move to Canada.

For me, this test was in eleventh grade, in AP Calculus with Mr. Burkhardt (seeing the combination of these two names on a schedule at the beginning of the year meant certain peril).  Mr. Burkhardt was an extremely intelligent man who loved calculus and who loved teaching.  Yet, he was easily the most difficult teacher in the entire school because of his extremely high standards.

His tests were hard.

And I fought those tests with all my might.  I used to go to Mr. Burkhardt at all hours of the day for help, I worked meticulously on the homework, and I watched an immeasurable number of Khan Academy videos.  Yet, a majority of the time, the lessons always came after the test.

The test that sticks out to me had to do with taking the volume of the cross-sections of 3D objects (some application of integrals that has not crossed my mind in a good two and a half years), and I was absolutely terrified to get my grade back

As soon as the paper landed on my desk, I had a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I took one glance at all the red marks and my less-than-stellar score, and quickly stuffed the exam in my backpack, out of sight.  At that moment, I swore off math completely, gave up, and wallowed in disappointment.

The next day, I took the test to Mr. Burkhardt for one last look-over, and he helped me to understand every last problem better than I could have ever expected.  Although I was frustrated at myself for not solving the problems correctly in the first place, I gained a greater understanding of the concepts on the test by seeing those humbling red slashes and seeking out help.

In the words of Vernon Sanders Law, "Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards."

Like Mr. Burkhardt, life gives the lesson after the exam.  In life, we must constantly learn by trial and error.

Sometimes, we have days when we get everything wrong.  Our recollection of these days is riddled with red slashes--we say something hurtful to someone we care about, we forget appointments or responsibilities, or we get a mediocre grade on a test.  Our memories from our entire lives have countless red slashes as well.  The overarching, large, memorable mistakes we've made are the ones that we can learn from the most.  When we make a huge mistake and are angry, embarrassed, or ashamed, our negative memories of the event drive us to improve and avoid making the same mistake again.

That is the wonderful thing about mistakes, missteps, and mishaps: we hardly ever make the same mistake twice.  Even though we may feel irked that life doesn't just give us all the answers right away, it is much better to learn from experience and to take the test by simply living our lives, accepting the red marks, and seeking improvement when things don't go our way.

“There is no such thing as a quantum leap. There is only dogged persistence—and in the end you make it look like a quantum leap.” ~James Dyson

New Year's Day is one of my favorite days of the whole year.  I love to wake up, after a satisfying night spent celebrating with friends and loved ones, with a sense of purpose and a feeling of renewal.  Fresh starts are wonderful, and with the new year comes the promise of new beginnings, greater successes, and endless possibilities.  This time of year, we all write our goals and aspirations meticulously on a sheet of paper and adorn it with the title: New Year's Resolutions.

Photo courtesy of gigi_nyc

New Year's Resolutions--a phrase that has a quasi-magical connotation.  With just one sheet of paper, we can erase all our flaws, fix broken relationships, and accomplish nearly impossible tasks.  This brand of list is incredibly satisfying to write, but terribly difficult to execute.  My list looked something like this:

1. Go the gym every day
2. Practice and piano two hours a day each
3. Have thirty minutes of relaxation time every day
4. Go to bed before midnight on weekdays
5. Never say no to a new opportunity

Of course, some of these are downright unrealistic.  If any normal person took every single opportunity offered to them, there would be no time to eat or sleep (which is even a struggle most days for the average college student).  Also, if I were to accomplish goals 1, 2, and 3, goal 4 would become impossible.  

Most times the goals set under the falling, sparkling confetti at midnight on New Year's Eve are too lofty, too broad, and too idealistic.  

But, don't throw out your resolutions as soon as they fall through (usually about the third day of the new year, for me).  Look at the list you made on this New Year's Eve and pick one resolution that you were particularly excited about or motivated to accomplish, no matter how lofty the goal appears to be.  Then, write out mini checkpoints to help you toward attaining your large goal.  For, in the words of James Dyson, "There is no such thing as a quantum leap.  There is only dogged persistence--and in the end you make it look like a quantum leap." 

The major flaw with many goals, and New Year's Resolutions in particular, is the expectation of quick or immediate results and frustration when we can't clearly see some sort of concrete progress.  This is why so many people struggle with losing weight, getting their dream job, or paying off debt.  Our individual flaws sometimes seem so large to us that we don't know where to start to mend them.  And, when we finally get going on a plan, a method, or a set schedule for achieving a large goal, we become aggravated when our hard work does not yield an immediate payoff.  

These quantum leaps that we want so badly in our lives are only achievable through relentless tenacity and the courage to commit a huge sum of our time and effort to making them a reality.  Everyone else will perceive your achievement as a quantum leap, but you will perceive it with pride as the result of your own blood, sweat, and tears.

So, this week, I encourage you to look back at your list of resolutions and re-start the year, using dogged persistence to get exactly what you want out of 2016.  Happy New Year!